Haven Counselling and Coaching

Self-Worth and Confidence

Sometimes it can feel like we’re our own worst enemy. There’s that inner belief that, somehow, we just aren’t quite good enough for anyone or anything and that we’ll never achieve anything worthwhile. Oftentimes this part of ourselves has roots in our past (often childhood) and we carry that baggage into our present and future. It may have started at a point in life when we were quite vulnerable and less able to see ourselves differently. It can feel tempting to just give in and accept that belief on face-value but, more often than not, the truth is that we’re giving ourselves a harder time than necessary.

Feelings of low self-worth can be very subtle and hard to notice, and yet, they can cause us to direct our life and relationships into paths we would not have taken had we been able to see ourselves differently. As you identify these patterns of belief and expectation you open the possibility for change. As you become more self-aware, you become more aware of different ways to respond to life.

What Can I Do to Help?

Sometimes people think we should simply gee ourselves up into a kind of positivity that will remove all self-doubt. I don’t think that works in the long-run, firstly, because a little healthy self-doubt is useful and, secondly, such attempts to throw off self-rejecting feelings are often motivated by the problem itself: the sense that we’re not good enough and need a shinier version of ourselves to replace us.

My approach is to help you understand why you feel as you do and help you shift from harsh self-criticism to a gentler, more accepting stance towards your limitations as well as your strengths. Sessions may explore what happens to your feelings in relationships, in your day-to-day responsibilities and in your past. It may not always be comfortable, but I believe to make changes difficulties often need to be worked through rather than worked around. There is no rush, however, and successful therapy can only go at the pace you need.

Self-worth and confidence won’t look the same in everyone. Some of us are extroverted, outgoing and easily noticed; others of us are quieter, more reflective and inward or some shade in between. Because counselling can centre on you, we can work towards successful changes that fit your personality.

If you’ve got any questions at all, or you’re wondering if I can work with you on another issue, please don’t hesitate to ask. You can  send me an enquiry by emailing me at havencounsellor@protonmail.com